Repeat Their Last Three Words
Reflecting the other person's own words back — as a question — makes them keep talking and makes them like you.
- Evidence
- shaky
- Topic
- Influence
- Things to do
- 3
- Read
- 1 min
shakyHow strong is the evidence?
Real, but smaller and shakier than the story you have probably heard.
- Maddux, Mullen & Galinsky, JESP, 2008 — mirroring negotiators reached deals 67% of the time vs 12.5%
Check it yourself: find this on Google Scholar
A correction to this entry
Downgraded from solid. The 67% versus 12.5% figures come from small samples in one 2008 paper and are repeated far more confidently than the sample sizes justify.
Why it works
Mirroring signals “I am like you, keep going” below conscious notice, and the extra talking is where the useful information lives.
What to do about it
- Repeat the last one to three words, with a rising tone. Then stop.
- Use it when an answer is thin or evasive. It reliably extracts the second, truer version.
- Keep it occasional — every few exchanges, not every one.
Where people go wrong
Obvious parroting. It works because it's below the waterline; visible, it reads as mockery.
Read next
- Name What They're Feeling“It seems like…” / “It sounds like…” — naming the other side's emotion defuses it and gets you information.untested
- The First Number WinsThe opening offer pulls the final figure toward it — for both sides, including experts who know this.proven
- Hand Them the Problem“How am I supposed to do that?” makes the other side solve your constraint instead of arguing with it.untested
- How You React to Good NewsResponding to someone's good news with active, enthusiastic interest predicts relationship health better than how you respond to their bad news.solid