They Liked You More Than You Think
After a conversation, people systematically underestimate how much the other person liked them and enjoyed it.
- Evidence
- solid
- Topic
- People
- Things to do
- 3
- Read
- 1 min
solidHow strong is the evidence?
Good evidence behind it, but fewer people have checked it independently.
- Boothby, Cooney, Sandstrom & Clark, Psychological Science, 2018
- replicated across settings and durations
Why it works
You hear your own internal commentary — every awkward pause and clumsy sentence — and the other person hears none of it.
What to do about it
- Assume it went better than it felt. It almost always did.
- Send the follow-up you were talking yourself out of sending.
- Related: people consistently underestimate how much others appreciate hearing from them. Send the message.
Where people go wrong
Reading your own post-conversation cringe as evidence about their experience. It is evidence about your attention.
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