Relationships Are the Whole Finding
Across 85 years of following the same men, relationship satisfaction at 50 predicted health at 80 better than cholesterol did.
- Evidence
- proven
- Topic
- People
- Things to do
- 3
- Read
- 1 min
provenHow strong is the evidence?
Tested again and again, by different people, and it keeps coming out the same. You can lean on this.
- Harvard Study of Adult Development
- Waldinger & Schulz, The Good Life (2023)
- begun 1938
Why it works
It is the longest study of adult life ever run, and its single strongest result is not about money, fame, class or diet. Loneliness is as damaging to mortality as smoking.
What to do about it
- Treat relationships as maintenance work with a schedule, not as something that happens naturally.
- Audit: name the eight people who matter most and when you last spoke properly. Fix the worst gap this week.
- Replace passive contact (liking, watching) with live contact (calling, meeting). Only the live kind counts.
Where people go wrong
Assuming the people who matter know they matter. Almost nobody does.
Where this fits in your day
Every evening
Shut down out loud. Three good things and why. One person you'll contact tomorrow.
Read next
- Minimise Regret, Not FailureIn the long run, people regret what they didn't do about twice as often as what they did.solid
- Exercise Is the Strongest Single InterventionNothing else improves mood, attention, memory and long-term cognition on as much evidence as regular aerobic exercise.proven
- Five to OneStable relationships run about five positive interactions for every negative one during conflict. Below that, they fail.solid
- Turn Toward the Small BidsCouples who stayed together turned toward each other's small bids for attention 86% of the time. Those who split, 33%.solid