M·07
Mind & Body
Self-Criticism Is Not Motivation
Self-compassion after a failure produces more subsequent effort and improvement than self-criticism does.
- Evidence
- solid
- Topic
- Mind
- Things to do
- 3
- Read
- 1 min
solidHow strong is the evidence?
Good evidence behind it, but fewer people have checked it independently.
- Breines & Chen, Personality & Social Psych Bulletin, 2012
- Neff, Self-Compassion (2011)
- meta-analyses on procrastination
Why it works
Harsh self-judgment triggers avoidance of the whole domain, which is why the harshest self-critics procrastinate most. Kindness keeps you in contact with the failure long enough to learn from it.
What to do about it
- After a failure, run three steps: this is hard; other people fail at this too; what does the next attempt need?
- Speak to yourself in the words you'd use to a friend in the same position. Literally write it.
- Separate the standard from the self-talk. Compassion lowers the cruelty, not the bar.
Where people go wrong
Believing your harshness is what got you here. It mostly arrived alongside the results, not because of them.
Read next
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- The Fresh Start EffectPeople act on aspirations after a temporal landmark — a Monday, a birthday, a first of the month, a new job.solid
- The Reward Must Be NowPersistence is predicted by how much you enjoy the activity, not by how much you value the outcome.solid
- Small Wins Run the DayThe strongest driver of a good working day is visible progress in meaningful work — ahead of recognition, incentives and clear goals.solid