Givers, at Both Ends
The lowest performers are givers. So are the highest. The difference is whether the giver protects their own interests.
- Evidence
- untested
- Topic
- Influence
- Things to do
- 3
- Read
- 1 min
untestedHow strong is the evidence?
Not a tested claim. A way of thinking that is useful and widely used, but that nobody has actually put to the test — so it is not dressed up as evidence here.
- Adam Grant, Give and Take (2013)
Check it yourself: find this on Google Scholar
A correction to this entry
Drawn from Adam Grant's Give and Take. The underlying reciprocity literature is real, but this particular framing has not been tested as stated.
Why it works
Giving builds a network that compounds for decades; giving without boundaries is simply subsidising other people's work. The successful version is “otherish”, not selfless.
What to do about it
- Default to five-minute favours: an intro, a recommendation, a pointer. High value to them, low cost to you.
- Give generously and ask explicitly. Not asking is what turns a giver into a doormat.
- Screen for takers once and act on it. One taker consumes what ten givers return.
Where people go wrong
Keeping score. Scored generosity is a transaction and everyone can feel it.
Read next
- The Strength of Weak TiesJobs, deals and opportunities arrive mostly from acquaintances, not from close friends.proven
- The Seven LeversReciprocity · Commitment & consistency · Social proof · Authority · Liking · Scarcity · Unity.proven
- Give a Reason, Any ReasonCompliance with a small request rose from 60% to 93% when the ask included the word “because” — even with a meaningless reason.solid
- Small Yes FirstAgreement to a tiny request substantially raises agreement to a much larger related one later.solid